What we have been saying about discussion we can
also say about reproof. The quiet reproach leads to peace,
while the loud one only exacerbates the division and contention.
We have a beautiful example of the Lord Jesus rebuking Peter
after the Resurrection. He did not say to him, "Come here, you
traitor, you who were afraid of a servant girl, you who swore
and cursed and said, 'I don't know the man'. Is this what you
promised me before when you said, "If everyone denies you, 1
will not deny you'?"
The Lord Jesus did not say a single hurtful word to him, he just
asked him quietly, "Simon, son of Jonah, do you love Me more
than these?" He said to Him, "Yes, Lord; You know that I love
You." He said to him, 'Feed My sheep.' He said to him again a
second time, "Simon, son of Jonah, do you love Me more than
these?' ... 'Feed My lambs.' ... 'Tend My sheep.'" (John 21:15-
17). And he repeated the question three times, until Peter
understood. The rebuke had its effect and love was established,
without Peter's heart being wounded.
48

---

6.
It is not only desirable that the tongue should be
calm, but even more so that it should be calming. As an
example of calming speech we have the words of the Bible: "A
soft answer turns away wrath". (Prov. 15: 1)
Another example is the comforting father confessor, who
soothes the soul of the one confessing and gives him peace of
the heart, releasing him from his heart's unrest that has occurred
on account of his sins. In contrast to that is the father confessor
who sends the penitent away feeling that he has lost his peace,
overcome by despair and feeling that he must inevitably be
doomed.
The calm person's serenity overflows onto others, and soothes
them if they are distressed. But the restless person infects them
with his turmoil and unsettles them if they are calm.
Inner Tranquillity
It is not enough that the person be calm just on the outside, in
his speech and nerves, but he must also be calm on the inside.
His spirit must be tranquil. Serenity on the outside springs from
calmness of the soul on the inside. As for the soul which is
boiling from within, wherever it settles comes tension and a rise
in temperature. It lives like a flame which burns and spreads its
fire here and there wherever it is thrown. It reaches the point
that when some people see this type of person entering a place
they whisper to each other, "Oh Lord help us".
49

---

But with the person who is calm from within, we can see his
inner calm overflowing as tranquillity on the outside. You find
his voice calm, his walking graceful, his behaviour and his
discussions calm and restful. Due to his calmness he does not
shout or quarrel rather his relations are good with all people, as
he does not resort to arguing or rudeness with anyone. And that
is just on the outside.
As far as the inside is concerned, he enjoys calm thoughts and a
peaceful heart. You find that the many thoughts of the person
who is restless inside are surging and confused, coming and
going, not settled at all. One idea pulls him one way, another
pulls him the other way. His mind is always changing and his
thoughts affect him because he is unstable.
The restless person also suffers from a lack of calmness in his
feelings. His emotions and feelings are restless, his desires and
hopes inconstant. Imagination sometimes pulls him to heights
which he can never reach, but practical thoughts bring him
down to his reality which is remote from his hopes. He remains
confused between desire and reality, and his emotions disturb
him. He may be prone to a number of psychological disorders.
There are various examples of this which we can mention such
as the person who loses his peace of mind by living in anxiety.
Anxiety points to a lack of peace in the soul. Anxiety gives rise
to fear and the anxious person's thoughts are not calm, or
stable.
Anxiety may invite doubt and doubt does not make the soul
tranquil. A person who doubts can never be calm at all from
within. He continuously asks himself whether he is right in his
50

---

misgivings, or whether it is possible that his suspicions are
untrue and wonders how he can prove the truth in these doubts
and confirm them. His thoughts continue to lack calm and may
exhaust him and torture him psychologically. This exhaustion
increases his lack of tranquillity, and this doubt can also exhaust
the person in his relationships with others.
There are various types of doubt, all of which cause loss of
peace, whether it is doubt about facts or individuals, doubt
about relationships, doubt about faith or even God Himself.
Sometimes the person's doubt is over his future and what he
anticipates in it. But in every case the mind is troubled and the
soul disturbed.
Whatever the situation, a peaceful heart brings peaceful
thoughts. If someone's heart is relaxed and tranquil, his
thoughts will be relaxed and tranquil too, and if his heart
becomes troubled so do his thoughts. The condition of the
thoughts depends on the heart. If there are storms and
volcanoes in the heart, you find that the thoughts are jostled
about as if they were goods in a market being bought and sold.
If, however, the heart is tranquil, the thoughts will be peaceful
too.
There are individuals whose dispositions are so weak that they
become upset for the most trivial of reasons, perhaps just
because of an illusion, and for no real reason. In such confusion
their heart loses its calmness, their thoughts lose their
tranquillity, their inner peace is lost and their behaviour appears
restless.
51

---

One of the signs of restlessness of thought is a state of
wandering, changeable thoughts. Calm thought is focused on
the subject of its consideration, it has a depth of reflection. But
thought that is not peaceful goes round and round from one
subject to another, and strays to numerous issues, for example
someone whose thoughts wander during prayer. As one of the
Fathers put it, "If the food of the fire is fuel, the food of the
mind are its little stories."
Inconstant restless thought is always eager for stories and
moves from one report to another, from one tale to another,
from one person to another and even from one city to another
without calming down, even during prayer. It reminds us of
Satan whose work is: "going to and fro on the earth, and from
walking back and forth on it." (Job 1:7).
Another sign of a lack of calmness of thought is a critical
attitude. A person with this type of thought is displeased with
everything and everybody and is continually rebelling against
circumstances in which he considers that the truth has been lost.
Thus he criticises all that comes before him. Even if it has
nothing to do with him and even if he has not studied the
subject or understood it, he still gets annoyed at everything,
grumbles at everything and criticises everything, thus losing his
tranquillity.
When thought has lost its calmness it acts to spread a lack of
calmness in the minds of others. It spreads its restless, anxious
thoughts by pouring them into other people's ears, getting all
worked up over them and striving to persuade people by them.
A person with such thoughts may be successful or he may not.
52

---

Even if he is not successful in spreading his restless views, he
disturbs any calmness because of his unsettling discussions.
Another type of restless thought is persistent thoughts, in which
an idea forces itself on the person's mind, putting pressure on
him in a troubling way. The individual tries to escape from it
but cannot, and through this pressure his calmness is lost. This
is especially so if those thoughts are with him whether he is
awake or asleep, and urge themselves upon him even during his
work, prayer, and during his rest, without letting go, and
without relaxation.
Persistent thoughts are often a war from Satan, because
spiritual thoughts are always tranquil. As for Satan, though, he
imposes his ideas unmercifully, and drives the person to act
hastily. With his insistence he bears down heavily on your
nerves and exhausts them so that you believe that the easiest
way to find rest from his urging is to act upon them straight-
away. Persistent thoughts are thoughts that cause trouble, they
do not want to give the person a chance to seek advice, a
chance to pray or a chance to examine the ideas and discuss
them! It is just as though they want to strongly force the
person!
Among the different types of restless thought are changeable
kinds of thoughts, adopting one thought and then its opposite,
sometimes agreeing with the issue, sometimes opposing it,
sometimes being over enthusiastic about the subject and at
other times losing interest, like waves of the sea coming and
going without rest. This is undetermined, indecisive thought
that causes its owner lack of peace and balance. Tranquil
53

---

thought, on the other hand, is like the ship which travels its
course calmly in one direction without confusion, without
diversion to the left or right.
Restless thoughts make the heart lose its calmness. Likewise a
restless heart upsets the thoughts. Sometimes the heart is
restless with the emotions, feelings and sensations inside it such
as sadness, passion, lust, tiredness, anger, resentment and envy,
the desire for revenge and the desire to possess or dominate.
Someone whose heart contains such feelings as these cannot be
peaceful, nor can his thoughts. But what makes the heart lose
its calmness most of all are desires which demand to be fulfilled
quickly while in realistic terms there is not the opportunity
available for such swift action, and therefore the heart loses its
calmness. The tranquil heart regards everything calmly, it does
not get upset at anything. The restless heart , however, sees
everything as a cause of trouble which is why it becomes
disturbed and provokes confusion wherever it settles!!
The tranquil heart is not upset by external problems. It accepts
them calmly, deals with them with reason, analyses them,
examines them and solves them quietly. It does not allow outer
confusion to enter inside the soul to disturb its serenity!
Someone who has a tranquil heart does not let the problem
overcome him, but rather he overcomes it. He says to himself:
"I do not want this problem to bother me, or to make me angry,
anxious or sad, or to make me lose my peace of mind. I want
this problem to remain outside and not enter inside my soul".
54

---

The tranquil heart is a deep sea. Troubles may float on its
surface and not disturb its calmness, and if they descend to its
depths, they dissolve and disappear.
If the person is upset inside and loses his calmness, he is
incapable of solving his problems, they bother him and he shows
a lack of calmness in his behaviour and in his dealings with
people and situations.
The tranquil heart is suitable for spiritual activity. But if
someone's heart loses its peace, he is unable to reflect. If he
tries to pray his thoughts are distracted. If he reads a book his
mind wanders during reading. For this reason our Fathers used
to search for peace and quiet, since only in a calm atmosphere
and a quiet place can they practise their spiritual life.
The tranquil heart spreads its tranquillity over the whole person:
calmness of the heart results in calmness of the thoughts,
calmness of the nerves and calmness of the features. We have
previously spoken of calmness of the nerves and thoughts and
now turn our attention to calmness of the features.
Serenity of the Features
Few people can control their facial features. Most often the
features reveal the state of the heart, whether the person likes it
or not. If his heart is troubled, his confusion shows in his
features. If he is angry, annoyed, disgusted or afraid, all these
states appear on the features of his face or in the look of his
eyes, even if he is distracted daydreaming, his features reveal it.
55

---

A person's features are an involuntary admission of what is
inside him! He may deny that he is troubled, but his features
show that he is not telling the truth with his denial. Sometimes
the person loses his composure, and if people ask him for a
reason he denies it. But the tone of his voice, the movements of
his hands, the look in his eyes, perhaps the movements of his
lips and the colour of his face all speak of what is inside him, in
a way that leaves no doubt.
Do not imagine that he heart is a locked treasure house which
conceals its secrets! It is often revealed and openly expressed
by way of the features. A person's eye is in most cases a mirror
in which his inner feelings can be seen and in which his thoughts
can probably be read also. Any observant person can see it,
which is why some people wear dark glasses so that those with
whom they are sitting cannot see the impressions or feelings in
their eyes.
The person with a tranquil heart has relaxed, serene features.
You like to sit with him and regard his face, contemplating the
wonderful calmness which overflows from his heart and covers
his features. Thus it is hardly surprising that one of the monks
said to Saint Anba Antonious: "It's enough for me simply to
look at your face, Father", for in the saint's face he could see the
inner peace which filled his heart and saw all the purity and
godliness there.
But the person with a restless heart has tense features. There
are people whose features are unrelaxed when they are in a state
of anger or emotion, and also when they are in a state of
sadness or depression, since they are lacking their inner peace
56

---

and calmness. All this appears in their facial features. Their
condition might reach the point that their features become too
distressing for you to look at them for long. Because their
expression is tense, they do not contribute to the calmness of
those who look at them.
It is therefore necessary to have control over the features and
calm them down. It is best for the person to calm his heart and
then his features will automatically become calm.
Stillness of The Body And The Senses
There are people whose bodies are restless, who cannot settle in
one place. They want to come and go, to get up and sit down,
to go out and come in. Even at home they do not settle for very
long, there have to do visits and outings and recreation for the
body and moving from place to place. These people have
changeable, restless bodies. This is the opposite of the monks
who discipline themselves to stillness of the body. The hermit
monk can stay in his cell for days or weeks, without leaving it
or moving unless it is essential, and if he moves, it is for
something worthwhile.
There is a great difference between these people who have
bodily stillness and those who move without a reason. Even if a
restless person sits alone in a place, you find his body moving
continuously. If he speaks with anyone you find his hands
moving and his feet and his head also. He may point with his
hand or raise his finger as he talks, or continually wave his
hands about. If there are two people having a discussion you
57

---

might look at their hands and find them moving all the time.
This is quite the opposite to being in the army, where the soldier
has to keep still when he talks, and if he moves his hand they
say to him, "Keep still!".
Sometimes a little movement is necessary to express an inner
feeling, but it should not be continuous, restless movement.
Many people's movements suggest a lack of calmness! If such a
person comes in or goes out, he causes a noise and racket
simply opening and closing the door. If he walks, he walks
noisily. If he drinks, you can hear a noise while he sips. Even if
he wants to dissolve some sugar in a cup of tea, you would
think he was ringing a bell. There is no stillness in his
movements at all, whereas the calm person stays quietly in his
place and he doesn't make a sound.
In a calm country you find that even the protest demonstrations
themselves are calm! Demonstrations, according to our
dictionary, however, mean noise and uproar, here and there: a
great throng of demonstrators shouting and chanting slogans,
waving their arms and upsetting everything and everybody as if
it is a kind of revolution. But in a calm country the
demonstrators go out and express their views with banners
bearing their demands and their ideas and they move from one
street to another carrying their ideas quietly.
Calmness of the senses accompanies calmness of the body.
Calmness of the senses helps their owner to think calmly. The
alternating senses of seeing, hearing and smell produce thoughts
and thoughts have an effect on feelings of the heart.
58

---

Thus a person might be sitting in a meeting but his eyes are
darting here and there looking to see what this one or that one
is doing.
It is so easy for a person to be influenced by what he sees and
hears. In fact even sitting at the table his eyes might be going
around to see what everyone else is eating, and how he eats,
and a whole chain of thoughts follow from this. This is why the
desert Fathers said: "If you enter a brother's cell, don't look at
what is inside it. And if you sit at a table let your eyes look
only at what is in front of you".
Inquisitiveness of the senses concerning the secrets of others is
called adultery of the senses. If the ear tries to hear what it has
no right to hear, the Desert Fathers would call it adultery of the
ears, and the same goes for spaying, which would suggest
that the ear is not calm. Also the eye which tries to see that
which it has no right to see, is a restless sense and its business
has become like that of Satan: "going to and fro on the earth,
and from walking back and forth on it." (Job 2:2).
Changeable, restless senses are at the root of nervous agitation.
This is especially true of the ear which goes around in search of
exciting news and the eye which looks for an interesting sight
and the mouth which is often asking, "What's the news?". By
doing so the senses bring to the individual's heart, ears and
thoughts something that wears him out and makes him lose his
peace of mind.
The strange thing is that the senses may not calm down even
during prayer! The eye goes round looking here and there and
59

---

breaks its connection with God, also the ear may be sensitive to
what it can hear during prayer, which distracts the thoughts.
This is all because the senses are restless and come from a body
that is restless and thoughts that are restless also. However, the
senses may not be the body's only problem. The body's
restlessness may come because of its lusts.
The unrest of the body may come because of a physical desire
for food or the lust of the flesh, so that it loses its calmness and
roams from place to place searching for satisfaction of its
desires. In their writings the Fathers call these kinds of lusts,
pains or aches of the flesh; for the body suffers and is restless
because of sin. The body's restlessness may also be due to
health reasons.
Calm Behaviour And Problem Solving
The calm person solves his problems calmly. In the most
difficult situations he does not lose his calmness, rather he
behaves rationally and in a well-balanced way. His behaviour is
thus mentally healthy and acceptable and does not cause violent
reactions.
Even when he protests or raises objections he does so calmly, in
an objective and convincing way, governed by logic not nervous
tension. In this way he is successful in gaining an advantage in
the situation and not clashing with his opponents.
On the other hand, another person, if he protests, does so
noisily, making a fuss with a loud voice, accusing the other
60

---

side with harsh accusations, and dealing with people and their
wishes and intentions very rudely! Look how easy it is for him
to make a mistake in all this and disadvantage his position!
The peaceful person, even if he resigns from his job, does so
calmly. When he finds himself unable to cooperate with his
colleagues, he withdraws quietly without causing them any
trouble and without disturbing the atmosphere around them.
But if the restless person resigns he wants to disrupt the whole
world because of his resignation. And if it does not cause an
outcry, he gets angry and says: "How can I resign and
everything remains the same? Why hasn't so-and-so or so-and-
so become angry in support of me? And why haven't the others
acted like me?!"
Through his conduct, the calm person is an example to others.
They learn peacefulness and good behaviour from him, and gain
experience in how to deal with problems and annoying people.
They remember the words of the Apostle: "Who is wise and
understanding among you? Let him show by good conduct that
his works are done in the meekness of wisdom. But if you have
bitter envy and self-seeking in your hearts, do not boast and lie
against the truth. This wisdom does not descend from above,
but is earthly, sensual, demonic. For where envy and self-
seeking exist, confusion and every evil thing are there. " (James
3:13-16).
Saint Paul says in dealing with the mistakes of others,
"Brethren, if a man is overtaken in any trespass, you who are
spiritual restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness". (Gal. 6:
1). tasbeha.org/content/hh_books/Calmness/index.html
61