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There are many reasons for a person to lose his calmness: some
come from within the soul and others are external.
Causes From Within
These include the person's temperament, whether he is of a fiery
or subdued nature, or particularly sensitive. It might also be his
way of thinking, which might work against him, or his nerves,
which might be exhausted. In addition to this, there are other
causes such as psychological disorders and struggles like fear,
confusion, depression, lust and anger. Yet another reason for
restlessness is a liking of causing noisy disturbances.
Temperament
A person's temperament has its first effect on his calmness or
lack of calmness. There are people who have a peaceful nature
and others who are excitable, and others in between the two.
The calm nature does not get overexcited. If it finds something
over-excited it calms it down. But the excitable nature gets
worked up for no reason! This excitable temperament they call
a 'fiery' nature. It does not like peacefulness at all, and cannot
live with it. If it finds a calm atmosphere it soon sets it ablaze,
stirs it up and provokes it. You will never find someone who
has this temperament calm. His restlessness does not have an
external cause, it arises from his natural disposition. He is
always irritable, highly strung, tense and excitable.
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One's nature may be continually pessimistic. This person may
look dejectedly at everything and expect the worst on every
occasion. He is suspicious of the intentions of all those around
him, he has misgivings about what they are up to and is afraid of
what they are doing. He may end up in a state that they call a
'persecution complex', and thus he loses his calmness because of
his pessimism and negative expectations.
A person with such a nature imagines that his pessimism has
various causes. He loses his peace of mind if the date is the
13th or any multiple of it, whether it is the Arabic or Christian
calendar, and he keeps on saying, "Oh God, help me". This
also happens when he has to repeat this number, for an address,
or identity card, or seat number or bus or telephone number, or
when his age reaches any multiple of it. He also becomes
restless if he hears the hoot of an owl or if he meets someone
whom he thinks it is bad fortune to meet!! Or if he meets a
person whose name is connected with some incident which
caused him distress. Likewise, he loses his calmness if he
anticipates bad luck from reading what it says in the 'Your Stars'
column in the newspapers or magazines.
You try to calm him down but your effort goes in vain! These
things which are deeply rooted in his nature cause him
continuous anxiety and disturb his peace of mind. They cannot
be outweighed by any thought or persuasion.
A person may lose his calmness because of being too sensitive.
The person who is, for example, very sensitive about his dignity
or his rights might see the slightest word or action from others
as an infringement of his rights or a slight to his dignity.
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You see him getting disturbed from within. His nerves are
affected and he may get angry. As a result of all this he loses
his inner peace and may behave towards people in a disruptive
way.
Way of Thinking
There is a type of person who thinks in a calm way, while
another thinks in a confused or angry way, which will never lead
him to a solution, but only causes him to lose his inner peace.
Here the question of thinking positively or thinking negatively
comes into it. The one who thinks positively about everything
that happens and all that he hears about thinks calmly within,
and makes everything pass peacefully. But the one whose
thoughts concentrate on the negative aspects of things, loses his
calmness, his thoughts grow restless and he shifts restlessly
from one idea to another.
Besides negative thinking, a person's thoughts may be troubled
by doubts or because the conclusions which he has arrived at
are wearing him out. What a lot of wrong conclusions can
spring from an anxious disposition; and there may not be a
shadow of truth in any of them. You might even say in surprise
to someone who is like that, "Why do you think in this way?!
Why do you interpret words in this way?"
It is because of a person's state that his thoughts work against
him. It is his way of thinking which wears him out. He needs
another person to correct his train of thought for him so that he
can think in a calm way that soothes him.
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One of the troublesome ways of thinking is that of exaggerating
problems, by attaching too much significance to the troubles
that come along, supposing them to have unfavourable and
dangerous results and by having a fertile imagination for
surmising possible dangers. A person who exaggerates thus
lives in fear and loses his calmness.
Exhausted Nerves
Tranquil nerves make the person think calmly and peacefully.
But nervous exhaustion leads to loss of tranquillity, intolerance
and a susceptibility to anger and nervousness. This exhaustion
may arise from physical tiredness or from illness or
psychological reasons, or from too much thinking or reading
over a long period without rest. It is therefore best not to enter
into heated discussions when in these types of situations and to
not think of solving problems with exhausted nerves. Those in
positions of leadership, for example, ought not to decide the
fates of others when in this condition.
If you find someone exhausted do not argue with him, because
he may not be able to bear the discussion and may get angry,
and also do not insist on him responding to a specific request,
because he may not be able to bear to be pressed, and may thus
refuse simply because he does not have the strength to think of
an answer. He may then use harsh words in a desire to end the
conversation.
If a husband returns tired from work, for example, it is not in
the wife's interest to present him with subjects which require
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thought, while he is in need of rest. If she confronts him at that
time he may react angrily towards her. If he does, she might
wrongly think that he is in a bad mood. It would be better for
her to realise that she had simply chosen an unsuitable time to
talk to him.
Among the other causes of a person losing his calmness are
psychological troubles and disorders. Of these we might
mention the following:
Fear and Confusion
If a person is afraid, he loses his calmness and if he loses his
calmness he becomes afraid. In a state of fear a person
imagines problems and dangers, whether they exist or not, and
thus becomes disturbed. The more he thinks about these
dangers, the greater his fear and confusion become and he
imagines the worst, yet all his fears may be his own doing.
The calm person does not become disturbed however much the
circumstances around him get troubled. He is just like the
house built on rock of which the Lord said: "and the rain
descended, the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on
that house; and it did not fall, for it was founded on the rock."(Matt. 7:25).
Peter the Apostle was thrown into prison, while Herod was
determined to kill him. Nevertheless he slept so soundly even in
such circumstances, that the angel who came to save him had to
prod him in the side to wake him (Acts 12:3-7).
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On the other hand, the person who is afraid and disturbed, loses
his peace of mind. In his fear and troubled state he is incapable
of healthy, calm thinking. Things before him become
complicated and seem to be irresolvable. and he loses his
calmness completely. To regain this calmness he needs outside
help and a solution to be found for him. If he discovers a
solution, his fear will decrease and subside.
Prayer and seeking advice will benefit him in this state.
Through prayer he will feel the divine power solving his
problems for him, so he does not fear. Through asking advice
he will find a wise and loving heart beside him, presenting him
with a solution and dealing with him in faith; so he does not fear
but grows calm.
Perhaps some may want to ask about those who fear death. In
actual fact, someone who fears death is more likely to be afraid
of his fate after death, and where he will go. But the believer
who trusts in God's love, and who always repents over big
things and small, is not afraid of death but rather says with the
Apostle Paul: "having a desire to depart and be with Christ,
which is far better." (Phil. 1:23). Thus we find that the martyrs
looked forward to death joyfully without being troubled, and
were very peaceful at the hour of their death.
This does not mean that there was something wrong when some
of the saints spoke of death with a certain fear, but if they did so
it was out of a kind of humility, so that their hearts should not
be raised too high because of their godliness and worthiness to
wear a crown.
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Desires or Lusts
Saint Augustine was right when he said: "I sat on the summit of
the world when I felt within that I did not desire anything or
fear anything."
Someone who runs after his desires is exhausted and enslaved
by them. They cause confusion within him, and he keeps on
thinking of how he can achieve what his heart desires. How can
he attain them? And what are the difficulties which stand in his
way? Who are his rivals and how can he triumph over them?
Or perhaps what tricks can he use to achieve his desires? This
is how lust disturbs him from within and makes him lose his
calmness in his thinking, his efforts and his feelings.
Also the scope of desires is never-ending. As soon as one has
been fulfilled, others appear and so on !!
We see tranquillity in the hearts and thoughts of ascetics, monks
and hermits because they have rid themselves of the pressure of
desires and become free within their souls.
Anger and Nervousness
Nervousness in relation to restlessness is both a cause and an
effect. The person who loses his nerves loses his calmness too.
As once a person has lost his calmness it is really very easy for
him to be angry and speak with obvious irritability.
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The calm person, however, does not become influenced so
quickly or get worked up or exasperated. He deals with people
and problems calmly, with a cheerful face. His inner peace
appears also in his outward behaviour.
A Liking for Causing A Noisy Disturbance
There are some individuals who can only live in a state of
clamour and cannot bear quietness at all. If they go somewhere
their commotion precedes them, and they announce their
presence with their loud voices and noisy company. If they sit
in a quiet place they soon grow bored and leave it, and if they
are with people who are silent, one of them shouts, saying to
them, "Why are you sitting so quietly?! Is this a sad
occasion?!"
They constantly look for problems and excitement. If they
become members of any club or association, they have to make
their presence felt; something has to happen, a difficulty has to
be raised and the atmosphere charged, they then feel that it has
some interest for them. If they sit in a meeting they have to
raise their voices and search for a subject to object to.
They expand any difficulty and provoke crises for the most
trivial reasons. If they are put in a position of authority they
wear out their subordinates with so many orders and
prohibitions, too many checks, and by keeping them occupied
with unimportant affairs. The whole world has to be disrupted
if they have to investigate something and if they find a mistake
they explode in furry.
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The existence of a calm atmosphere obviously depends on one's
love of peacefulness. Those who do not love peace show it on
every occasion: their wedding celebrations are noisy affairs and
can be heard from afar, with their loud voices, singing and
whistling and perhaps even accompanied by the bangs of
fireworks going off. Even their funerals are noisy affairs. The
whole town or district has to be turned upside down if one of
them dies!! They imagine that they are not honouring the dead
if they do not spend long nights in weeping and wailing in loud
voices for them. All this is simply in the desire that others
should share their affliction.
Sharing sorrowful emotions is necessary, but to overdo it is to
destroy any chance of real calmness. There are ways of
expressing one's mutual support which do not involve a lot of
noise and which are characterised by peacefulness. Sometimes
silent grief and quiet tears are a deeper expression of sentiment
than loud wailing.
We have talked of the importance of inner reasons for losing
one's calmness, and will now go on to speak about those
reasons which come from outside.
External Causes
There are external factors which may make the person lose his
peace of mind and calmness, his smile and cheerfulness, his joy
and happiness. The spiritual person, however, can triumph over
external reasons, as we will explain later. Perhaps the
most important external reasons are to do with the body, the
senses, and with the mind and the spirit.
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a. Against The Senses
There are several reasons for the body to lose its calmness
because the senses have become exhausted, by this we mean
reasons that are particularly connected with our homes, such as
the sounds, lights, colours, traffic, telephones etc.
Environs:
1.
Overcrowding in the city, any city, bombards the senses
with noise and bustle, especially in the shopping streets of the
city, where the people are crowded together unnaturally. This
is also true of the places where there are many factories,
workshops, universities, schools and hospitals (or what they call
the 'service sector' in the city).
2.
Following on from this there is the vast number of traffic
routes and all the noise and racket which they cause. This is
especially so in the periods of peak hours and ending in various
offices. They call this the 'rush hour', when thousands of
employees, students and business people leave work, either by
their private cars or in search of buses, trams or taxis. At this
time the bustle of the city appears at its greatest and it is this
which exhausts those who love peace and makes them lose the
tranquillity of their senses.
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The traffic may be brought to a halt because of the great crush
of people, especially in large overcrowded cities, with all that
this entails in the way of problems, upsets, the closing of some
people's departments and wasted time.
3.
Because of all this some people prefer to live in the
suburbs. The population of the city of London exceeds 12
million, and so some of its inhabitants prefer to live outside the
city in the areas known as 'suburbia' (this applies to Cairo too).
If people are unable to live in the suburbs, then they might at
least spend the weekends there for a period of rest and
recuperation far away from the noise of the city.
4.
In search for peace, some cities have made laws which
prohibit the building of homes over the whole area. In some
cities they only allow a land owner to build on a third or a
quarter of the area of his land, and leave the rest, for example,
as a garden. Thus the houses can be spaced out and there can
be some greenery which helps calm the nerves and the spirit and
which provides areas where there is less crowding and noise.
Some cities restrict the height of dwellings to perhaps just 12
metres (3 or 4 stories). The quieter areas of the city are
examples of these residential districts.
In view of the increase in the price of land at the present time,
the vast number of inhabitants and the housing crisis, these
kinds of comfortable, quiet homes are hard to come by, except
for those who are financially able to afford it and who also love
peace and quiet.
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In order to remedy this shortage, some cities are trying to
allocate special areas within the city to be public parks as places
of refreshment for the people. These parks, however, in spite of
their healthy and scenic aspects, are often noisy places because
people tend to see them as places for recreation rather then
relaxation.
5.
Due to this, peace lovers resort to the Monasteries
where the desert is quiet. Even though the Monasteries in the
desert are essentially tranquil places, they lose their peacefulness
because of the large number of people visiting them. It is
therefore necessary to lay down firm regulations for preserving
the peace of the Monasteries. There is a great difference
between a large party of 50 people going to a monastery just for
an outing, to visit and receive a blessing, causing a good deal of
noise because they are unfamiliar with the calmness there, and a
few individuals going to a monastery to spend a period of peace
and worship, and who stay in retreat houses.
In order to preserve their calm atmosphere, the monasteries try
to group the visitors' areas far away from the monks' cells, and
from the retreat houses, which helps the visitors to become
accustomed to the quietness.
6.
On the other hand, the monks who desire even greater
quietness go to live in isolated cells and desert caves. It is in
these places, far away from the bustle of the guests and even
from the other monks' living quarters, that they are able to
attain a degree of solitude and peace which does not exist in the
community of monks.
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